Diana (50)

An arrest team in the house

An arrest team showed up at Diana's house one morning to take away her 14-year-old son. He was suspected of a street robbery with violence. Diana was completely surprised. She knew her son as a quiet boy. He always came home on time. He did get into riots at school. But when she inquired about this, they said it was due to puberty. Looking back now, there were already some signs. Her son was hanging out with older boys. And he found money increasingly important.

Tension and stress

From that morning, the lives of Diana and her family were turned upside down. An 'army of assistance' was deployed. This took a lot of time. All attention went to her son. While she also had other children she wanted to give attention to. All this caused a lot of tension and stress, and her own traumas surfaced. Diana went into therapy to learn to deal with this. By working on herself first, she was then able to be there for her children again.

Looking for help

Besides therapy, Diana sought ways that could help her and her family during this period. Her advice to other parents is therefore to seek help. See what help is available in your neighbourhood, for example through neighbourhood or district teams. And talk to someone you trust. This does not have to be a social worker, it can also be a coach or a pastor. Or a family member. In any case, someone who is close to you and will always be there for you.

When talking fails

And if you can't talk about it with each other, write letters. Diana also wrote letters to her son. "One thing you must not forget" Diana told her son "I will always love you, but I will not accept this".

It sounds scary but you can talk to the police

It may sound scary for parents, but Diana also wants to pass along to parents to have a conversation with the police. This does not mean you report the crime but they can give you advice on how to act in certain situations.

Supporting other parents

Diana has started a foundation to support parents in similar situations. More information can be found at www.demoederisdesleutel.nl